OK, OK… this may be a little extreme, but it is how we may feel.
Any prospective guest who receives an invitation is obligated to reply as soon as possible, yet so many don't. Some forget, others procrastinate and then others just don't care to respond. When hosts don't receive a timely RSVP, it can make them feel as if the invitee is waiting for something "better" to come along. Many times something as simple as not sending an RSVP is a reason why some relationships suffer because the hosts' feelings may be hurt. It is then up to you, the host, to call friends to ask if they plan to attend. In all actuality, if you want an accurate headcount, you have no choice but to call anyone who hasn't responded and ask whether they plan to come to your event. Though this conversation may be awkward, try to be friendly, not accusatory.
It's such a shame that even having been sent the yes or no card and a pre-stamped, pre-addressed envelope, some guests don't just drop it in the mail, but your guests are busy with the usual day-to-day stuff too. It's frustrating, yes, just don't stress about it.
Here's how to deal with guests who don't RSVP on time:
Following Up with Guests Who Don't RSVP
Call, email, or text — or do whatever you're most comfortable with. If it is someone you don't know very well have your partner, parent, or Maid of Honor help reach out to those late-responders. Now, what do you do when wedding guests don't RSVP or respond even after contacting them? Well, whatever, but honestly, you tried; most likely they won’t be in attendance, although, It would be nice if they would tell you one way or another. That’s just how it goes sometimes. Don't sweat it.
No RSVP? No Worries!
Planning a wedding is stressful enough without allowing non-responsive guests to add to it. Yes, it's rude and frustrating, but relax and let it go. An RSVP is pretty standard for weddings, still, some guests disregard it. When wedding guests don't RSVP, don't take it personally, some wedding guests don't RSVP because they need to wait until the last minute to make travel plans; while others are still trying to confirm babysitting arrangements. Worst case, their invitation may have gotten lost or misplaced, which makes the follow-up important.
How to Handle Guests Who Don't RSVP but Then Show Up Anyway
That's just rude! A huge worry is always what to do when wedding guests who don't RSVP just SHOW UP?!
Yes, it can happen, but it is very unlikely. It's good to give guests the benefit of the doubt… Maybe they just forgot or thought they RSVPed and they randomly show up. Many venues will have an allowance for a few unexpected guests (though you'll need to pay for them on the final bill), even at the very last minute. If you see someone looking around for an escort card to no avail, chances are they didn't RSVP.
This is when it's very helpful to have a day-of coordinator on hand in instances like this, as they can quickly seat guests and speak to the caterer and you don't have to deal with these issues.